a daily scoop of my life
Thursday, September 28, 2006
i never knew what that meant previously. so yes, isman, itu kado ulang tahunku yg ke... 18? 19? *lupa* aku ga pernah tau artinya apa. baru kepikiran mo nyari tu tadi. and you were right all along *lol*

Taken from Wikipedia:
"This term is often used in reference to anybody seen as "nit-picking", overly worried about small details of form, style and etiquette, uptight or distressed over ordinarily minor problems, and unable to adopt a philosophical attitude toward mistakes. This metaphorical usage has become so commonplace that the somewhat graphic literal meaning of the phrase is often overlooked by those using it.

Another term used in a similar context is "hair-splitting." The intended implication is that an "anally retentive" person needs to "loosen up" a little instead of "holding on to it."
Monday, September 18, 2006
my name
my name is apparently a language, and the main character in one of donna's book.

hehehe sori, don, aku ketinggalan berita banget X)
Thursday, September 14, 2006
yes, i manipulated the time. this should've been posted 4 days ago, and yet my internet connection has been really rusty. :(

long hair, short hair, long hair, short hair, medium hair.
cilantro, the piano bar, zoom resto & lounge, de la rossa.
r'ship, break up, make up, break up, open r'ship, make up.
laughter, cry, happy, devastated, anger.
love, hate, love, hate, love, hate, love.

2 very fine years. happy anniversary, hon. *hug*
Sunday, September 10, 2006
an SATC moment
this conversation /should/ have taken place in Manhattan, between cocktails.

"i had this conversation with him yesterday, and i told him that he's such a guy, he'll become really nice to me when he wants something. but when it was my turn to want affection and attention, he'll be acting like whatever"

"hahaha boys will be boys"

"and then he laugh and he just said 'oh ok, 'then i'll just be mean all the time -___-'"

"i had well.. the same conclusion after our long talk this evening. he told me that every single guy would always look for another girl, the 'just-incase' girl."

"that's messed up tho."

"just incase i'm dead, just incase i dump him, just incase anything. and i have to say that i actually agree. at least according to ALL MOST of my male bestfriends. but it doesn't mean that he doesn't love his girlfriend. he has made his choice to be with her. and that's that. unfortunately, as i told him, this is the part when girls can never accept."


"i'm pretty sure that every single girl would want her guy to love her and only her."

"i mean, what's wrong with them. their EGO is just as big as the universe. they need to look for replacements, NOW?"

"I KNOW! so then he made a quite good point. he told me that this is the exact reason why guys finally lie. they know they'd always be like that but they also know that their girls will hate it. and so they lie. in the extreme cases, affairs happen. then he pointed out what's /suppose/ to be an advantage, to me. that he doesn't like lying to me. and so he just spill everything out. i'm not even sure if it's even a good news or a bad news heheh. it's just a matter of how far i can take it. and i'm pretty sure that there would be times like these past coupla weeks when i just can't take it anymore."

"yeah i'm sure there'll always be times like those"

"but there would also be times like today when i'm feeling logical and can really accept this macho thing. let him pray to God that most of the time i'd be /this/ logical. boys will be boys."

"but then, girls will be girls too."


"and everything has to be fair."

"that was what i told him."

"so if he wants u to understand. then he should do the same thing. so if he knows that he'll always look for other girls he need to kinda put a break at it as much as he can cuz he should respect you!"

"that's what i told him. i said that no matter how logical i can be, i am still a girl. and i'd always hate that macho stuff he has no matter what. and when i explode at times like these coupla of weeks, he'd have to understand."

"yes. it's so funny yesterday me and him just had our emotional vs logical confersation too. i told him i'm falling for him right... and i told him that i'm afraid, cuz i know he doesn't feel the same way, and i'm afraid to get hurt. and i can't control my feelings and one of the things he said was that sometimes I have to try using my head than my feelings, see what's logical and don't let my feelings take over. typical guys gak sih!!!"

"similar words came out of his mouth."

"i mean, i DO use my head but it's always a battle between the two and that's what difficult."

"and that's the part that boys don't understand."

"guys can never get that."

"they can't see that some girls are battling between those two, like us. while others just leave it being emotional."

"yes, we actually THINK what's best."

"sometimes i just wanna yell at them, "GO TRY DATE THOSE KIND OF GIRLS!", then they'd miss us."

"yeah, seriously!"

"at least we battled for it hahaha"


"and he said that he doesn't want that to happen, he's not sure he'd forgive me if i have an affair with another guy. GUYS ARE SELFISH. they expect us to forgive their mistakes, in which we always do. but then if we make the same mistake, they'd be mad. "

"what's wrong with them?"

"i have no clue. they can be the most selfish and stupid beings on earth. and you know what? we still love them. hahahaha"

"yes *sigh*"


"why can't the world is just full of gays & lesbians? people would understand their partners better. no more of those whining 'women are complicated'"

"hahahah i dunno much bout lesbians people and how they think. so i dun wanna say anything too fast. cuz seee.. if you were a lesbian, i would assume your partner will be more jealousy and have more pms-es, and it'll be as compicated."

"oh yeah. PMS. i forgot about that."

"but i have to say, that all these fights and bickering, and emotional rollercoaster, truly worth the feeling of having someone that you care and care for you, that can make you a better person. simply having a partner in this world, and to know that you're not alone."

"agree, loneliness kills."

"been there, done that, and it just suck!"

"i'll drink to that!"

boys will be boys. and they complain how women are too complicated and too emotional.
girls will be girls. and they complain how guys are simply jerks and not sensitive.

yet love and commitment exist.

i luv you, hon.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
die IE
sejak sok2an punya tab nih, within FIVE MINUTES, IE di PC rumah bisa nge-hang 2 kali. cuma karena gue buka beberapa tab. DASAR KENTUT.
femme fatale
quoted from Wikipedia:

"A femme fatale is thus a source of disruption: this generally arises when her actions put her in conflict with woman's traditional role as subservient to the males in her life. For this reason a modern feminist woman may regard a so-called femme fatale in movies or fiction in ways quite different than her male companions do. Consider the feminist view of the options faced by a woman who wields power that is not inherent, if she marries:

* Her husband's love may not be honest: his true goal may be to possess that power.
* Even if initially honest, he may change as the relationship develops. This might occur because of some character flaw in him, or through pressure from his family or friends.

A woman of power, therefore, needs to proceed carefully into romance. Since she typically surrenders much of her personal political and financial power to the marriage, she has reason to establish a fallback position. This can be done by withholding resources, perhaps by keeping a separate bank account. Tragedy can ensue, however, if she chooses to counterbalance her husband's traditional assets of wealth and powerful connections with the femme fatale's assets. Then, as happens in some film noir, she runs the risk of destroying their relationship and even her husband and herself. The extreme of this sympathetic version of the femme fatale would be a woman who was defrauded of everything by her husband, forced to survive by crime or prostitution."

can't help but laugh after reading that, and reading diandra's comment on one of my previous entries. :))
Monday, September 04, 2006
now playing on my iTunes
Save Me

It started off so well
They said we made a perfect pair
I clothed myself in your glory and your love
How I loved you,
How I cried...
The years of care and loyalty
Were nothing but a sham it seems
The years belie we lived a lie
I love you until I die
Save, save, save me
I can't face this life alone
Save, save, save me...
I'm naked and I'm far from home

The slate will soon be clean
I'll erase the memories
To start again with somebody new
Was it all wasted,
All that love?
I hang my head and I'll advertise
A soul for sale or rent
I have no heart I'm cold inside
I have no real intent
Save, save, save me
I can't face this life alone
Save, save, ooooohhhhh...
I'm naked and I'm far from home

Each night I cry I still believe the lie
I love you, 'till I die

Save, save, oh, save me
Don't let me face my life alone
Save, save, ooh...
I'm naked and I'm far from home

gila ni band... asli kagak ada matinya...
a call from the past
one of the times when i'd say to people that "this is my blog, so i'll write whatever i want to write". this may be a pretty personal entry.

my sms-es were just excuses to talk to you. i think you would've seen the pattern by now, that whenever i feel uneasy, i'd turn to you. i may have taken you for granted, but in my defense, i don't know how to be good friends again with you... i mean with all the things happened in the past. at least friends would share when they have troubles, right? well that's what i've been trying to do, contacting you when i feel i'm in trouble heheh.

closing a chapter which consists of my life in the university, for some reasons apparently brings me back to a lot of memories happening 4-5 years ago, when i just entered the uni. i can't believe how time flew really fast. it doesn't feel like long ago when you wrote that looooong email, and i replied with another loooooong email. but boy oh boy, it really /was/ 4 years ago.

i'm not sure if i have ever said this clearly enough since years ago, but thank you. for now, and back then. you were the one person who had always had faith in me. whenever i came to you, telling you how i felt very low, how i had no faith of myself, you'd tell me that i can do anything. and i did. i'd feel very confident of myself. i knew your peer... all those catwalk lingerie models, which obviously made me felt really ugly, and yet you firmly told me that i was beautiful. i guess that's what you were always capable of, making me feeling like the center of your world.

and yet i never had the chance to say thank you. for making me feeling all the things i've never felt before (man, this sounds very cheesy hahaha). if there's any person who can sincerely appreciate me, as in the whole /me/, it'd be you.

so thank you. again. for listening my rants all these times, and convinced me that i always deserve the best.

btw i'm still waiting for the call you promised. and you still owe me a "congratulations for your graduation"! *grin*

on the lighter side
the "Sarjana Komputer" doesn't feel anything. weird, i think. i thought you were suppose to be very proud of it, and felt like it's the end of long journey, you know... those kind of stuff. and i feel nothing. it feels just like starting a new Monday, meaning another day to work and deal with mean clients. well sure i have some changes in my schedule, but that's pretty much it. how do you all feel?
Saturday, September 02, 2006
and we finally got through those 4 hellish years in our beloved campus. i congratulate all of you, my fellow comrades who are graduating today! wishing you all success in each and every one of your respective paths, and all the luck you need.

dan sori tadi gue grogi. terus fals banget. hehehe. malu abis.

current tune


ndari, nday, ojochan, nenek, burung, bursky, birdy, wulan

obsessed with new york city, vin diesel, yoshiki hayashi, having an apartment, and keeping things clean & tidy

describes herself as anal-retentive, a workaholic, a credit-card abuser, a faghag, suffering from light OCD

luv luv luv coffee, cigarettes, bodyCombat, cocktails, chit-chatting, making friends, organizing, working, the idea of decorating her own apartment, shopping

freaks out over talks about marriage and having kids

hates fruits, mushy-spoiled-and-stupid guys, cooking, people who are not being ontime/ nosy/ judgmental/ who burp in public

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