one hell of a week, and i mean it it's a mixed feeling. a bit of an excitement, a bit... or maybe loads of stress, a bit of frustration, that explains pretty much of what i felt yesterday. 2 clients made my team gone frustrated. one because there seems too many people involved in the project from their side, and one because there has been too much conflicts of interest within the organization. so there we were, kept on getting calls from both clients. one that keeps on changing what they want us to do. and one that keeps on telling us how things have been going rough in the organization only because of the project.
on top of that, one out of the four courses i take this semester will have its mid-term exam on monday. it's going to be an "open-book" test. and guess what? we have no books to open. no text-books, no slides, and no lecturer to find. crap.
then there's this beloved almamater of mine who changes their requirements for their website development everytime a meeting is held. and so then the question "if only.." keeps on haunting my mind.
you're hired! hahah. 6 years obessision of mine evaporated only in 15 minutes of an interview. i suppose i have been denying things. whenever people tell me that it's not going to be an easy job, i chose to keep that obsession and wait until i can see it myself. and whaddaya know... slavery's is still going in this freakin' world! 6 months contract, when it's over, i'll get an extension of the contract for another year. then another extension for another year. then what? when am i going to be a freakin' permanent employee?? office hour is normal, from 8 to 5. however, a friend that has been working in that company told me that she got out of the building at 1 in the morning. not because all of her work was done, but because she was too tired so she sneaked out and left. oh, and obviously to them there's nothing wrong about coming to the office on Saturdays. there's also a chance that i'd have to come on Sundays.
they wanted me to flexible: always ready to come to the office whenever there's a problem, at any hour. they would send me to other cities. alone. they expected me to be a fast-learner and full of initiative since there won't be any training, and the supervisor would be too busy to supervise. they didn't seem to approve my plan to have a Master's degree because that means i would have to leave the company for a while. and obviously they wouldn't approve if i plan to continue my dad's business.
so there goes my 6 years obsession. poof.
i love working, there's no doubt in that. but obviously i would expect to get paid adequately, especially when i'm sacrificing my weekends. i lost my interest. some people had told me that it's a stupid decision to reject the chance of working in a big company, experience is the best teacher, and so they say. well i choose to /enjoy / what i do. and that's exactly what i'm doing now.
and i still want that cafe one day. :)
another year older i am pretty sure that this section would get many "celaan" from some certain people. ¬¬
my birthday is coming. don't feel as special as the previous birthdays. i'm just getting another year older, no fun in that. haven't even made plans for that day, well except for having dinner with him at Mother's Cook - Citos (i /eat/ on my birthday :P). ngapain yah.
aku ingin mulai ke gym tiap hari lagi, pas pulang kuliah. aku ingin kuyush.
figuring what you really want with your life is never easy. especially when you realize that some of the things that you used to want were unreasonable. getting to the point when you realize that maybe you don't want what you used to want might take a while. but once you're there, life seems to look well a bit.. better :P at least by then you can start taking steps closer to it, and start to make plans for it.
i do realize something: if you can't find the right job-position that would fulfil all the things you want, then make one. heheh.
oh and btw, yg ga dateng ke JJF taun ini, menyesal lah kalian! WUAKAKAKAKAK asli keren gilaaaaa... apalagi Take 6! saya puas sekaliiii.... ^_^
kalo udah kerja terus apa yah? ampe tua dan bosen mengerjakan pekerjaan yang sama sambil berusaha meraih posisi yang lebih tinggi? pindah2 kayak kutu loncat? ada ga kemungkinan untuk tidak bosan sama sekali?
updates updates updates 1. jetto akhirnya ga jadi manggung di Kresikars... I think. karena banyak masalah dg masalah waktu maen, baik durasi maupun jam berapa-nya.
2. gue ketendang dari tes P&G karena apa? "database-nya bermasalah." sentul kenyut. jadi kemaren ke balairung lagi, mo liat jadwal tes setelah cek di website jadwal yang keluar itu cuma buat sekitar 300-an orang dari 1300-an yang keterima. sampe sana, mencari2 jadwal gue, menemukan jadwal temen2, tapi nama gue ga ketemu di Batch 1 sampe 3. alhasil nanya ke orang P&G dan dia bilang nama gue ga ada, dan dia malah nanya balik apa gue dah registrasi ulang. gile minta dihantem, jelas2 gue termasuk yang cukup pagi daftar ulangnya. mbak2 registrasi-nya aja masi inget muka gue. "kami cuma copy paste dari daftar yagn dikasi panitia, jadi kamu cek ke sana aja." jadilah gue complain ke panitia, menanti 20-30 menit-an untuk kemudian menerima jawaban "database-nya bermasalah ni, mbak. jadi ntar kita kabarin lagi yah..". iseng gue tanya ini kebeneran aja gue yang sial sendirian apa gemana, dengan muka ga enak mereka jawab, "ga banyak sih.. tapi emang ada beberapa yang kena kasus gini."
jadilah gue masi menanti ampe sekarang. not that gue segitu eager-nya pengen ke P&G, tapi kan sayang banget kalo dah ada kesempatan terus jadi ilang cuma pantaran nama gue kelewat ga di-copas. ble'e.
3. lagi bingung ama gue pengen kerja apa setelah lulus. makin ke sini malah jadi semakin mempertimbangkan diri untuk jadi sekretaris. i just happen to be obsessed with managing and organizing things. cita2 selama ini mo jadi IT Auditor udah satisfy the part of me yang seneng "perfecting" things (dalam kasus ini: bikin laporan jadi balance). tapi ragu bakal kebagian managing/organizing things ato nggak. ibaratnya nih, disuru milih antara ngerjain jurnal pas ngambil SIA dulu sama jadi sekretaris SP ato sekretaris dia, gue milih jadi sekretaris deh.
bingung jelasin perasaannya gemana. tapi organizing myself is not as hard and as challenging as making other people organized, and that's when the secretary's role comes. mungkin karena gue seneng kalo orang2 rely things ke gue, ngasi tanggung jawab ke gue. gue seneng utk berusaha keeping up with their trust, makin seneng ketika mereka puas dengan hasil yang gue kerjain. and apart from that: gue seneng being very busy. being overwhelemed with work keeps me alive. multi-tasking buat gue bahkan lebih exciting. i love the panic, the pressure, i even enjoy the stress i keep having when i'm overwhelmed.
this also explain kenapa ada kalanya gue biarin kamar kost gue agak2 berantakan selama beberapa hari, dan baru pas hari terakhir gue beresin semua. itu puaaaaaas banget rasanya. wong nyapu ama nyuci aja gue seneng, lama2 gue apply jadi PRT aja deh. :P
satu2nya yang mengganggu gue utk jadi sekretaris tu.. kok sayang ya rasanya dah 4 taun kuliah payah2 di sini, lulus malah jadi sekretaris. tau gitu dari awal aja masuk akademi sekretaris hehe.